While sleep training isn’t for everyone, it has transformed the lives of countless families—including mine. When I became a mum, I found myself so sleep deprived and just so exhausted every single day that I couldn't give my best self to both my husband and baby. I felt so guilty and my baby's sleep just stressed me out! It started to suck the joy out of motherhood and I started to dread bedtimes and nap times. I often felt trapped at home, unsure how my baby would handle napping on the go or settling down for the night in a different environment.
I finally reached a point where I knew I had to solve my baby’s sleep challenges. After discussing it with my husband, I dove into my own research on infant sleep and reached out for professional guidance. My little girl finally overcame night sleep and started sleeping through the night without any wakes! It took her some time to consolidate her daytime naps, but with a full night’s sleep, I finally had the energy to tackle her daytime schedule. As her naps improved, my confidence grew—I found myself getting out more and even attempting naps on the go.
I was a different woman and she was a different baby. We were both much happier because we were well rested and had the sleep we actually needed.
What is sleep training?
Sleep training is essentially helping babies or young children learn to fall asleep and stay asleep independently. It typically involves teaching them to self settle and establishing consistent sleep routines.
What are the benefits of sleep training?
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Improved Cognitive Development in Infants: Better sleep quality in infants is associated with improved cognitive function and overall brain development. Studies, such as those published in Sleep Medicine(2008)[1], have shown that sleep-trained infants who sleep more and have fewer disturbances exhibit improved attention, memory, and problem-solving abilities compared to those with poor sleep quality.
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Enhanced Parental Well-being and Mental Health: Parents of sleep-trained babies experience less stress, anxiety, and depression due to improved sleep and reduced nighttime disruptions. A randomised controlled trial published in the Journal of Pediatrics (2013)[2] highlighted that parents who practiced sleep training had better mental health outcomes, reporting lower levels of maternal depression and stress .
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Promotes Secure Infant-Parent Attachment: Sleep training does not harm the infant-parent bond, and can actually improve relationships by fostering a structured, predictable environment. A study from Pediatrics (2012)[3] reassured that sleep training had no long-term negative effects on the parent-child attachment or emotional well-being, and it encouraged positive developmental outcomes .
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Enhanced Emotional Regulation in Children: A 2015 study in Developmental Science[4] found that infants who had improved sleep through sleep training were better at regulating emotions and showed fewer behavioural issues as they grew older.
Does this mean letting my baby "cry-it-out?"
Absolutely not! Sleep training has gained such a bad image because parents automatically think this means letting their baby cry-it-out (CIO). This is a traditional, outdated sleep training method, which involves leaving your baby in the room, shutting the door and letting them CIO, but this is not the only way to improve a child's sleep. There are responsive ways to sleep train a child. This is what I help parents with in my one-on-one support consultations. Teaching parents how to get their child sleeping by helping them through the changes and not leaving them alone to CIO. Does this mean there will be no tears? Of course not! Your child may cry to communicate that they don't like the changes you are making (i.e. moving away from rocking to sleep or feeding to sleep), but it is about how you respond to the tears and your reassurance; that is the main difference.
I know it's never nice to hear your little one cry and this is why many parents fear sleep training, but trust me, you're not ruining your bond with your child, you're only going to strengthen it.
Does sleep training work?
From my own experience and the many clients I've worked with, YES, sleep training works! Time and time again, I've seen it work for so many families who were 100% committed to their sleep training approach and remained consistent. Consistency is key when it comes to improving a child's sleep. If you're giving them mixed messages (i.e. reverting back to what you were trying to move away from), then it won't work.
When should I start sleep training my child?
When your little one is 5 months old and up. I don't recommend sleep training younger than this as bub is not developmentally ready for this yet. This doesn't mean you can't work on sleep when they are younger. You can still lay down a solid sleep foundation as soon your little one is born. I teach all of this in my First Four Months Bundle Sleep Guides. This includes both my Newborn and 3-4 Month Sleep Guide, where I teach you the science of sleep and how to meet your baby where they are developmentally by using age-appropriate settling techniques and helping your baby practise falling asleep independently. I teach you a gentle, no-cry approach.
Around 3-4 months old, little ones go through a huge developmental progression, where their sleep cycles become more adult-like, with more sleep stages. This is the reason why most babies go through a sleep regression. This is also why I do not recommend sleep training younger than 5 months old because it will take a lot longer and will end up with more tears. After 5 months, the body’s melatonin (sleep hormone) starts to regulate, and the baby’s sleep cycles become more established. This makes sleep training more effective.
Is it too late to sleep train my child?
If your little one is older, it is never too late to work on sleep. There is no expiration date when it comes to improving sleep. It is all about starting somewhere and committing to at least 14 days of consistency at home. The process may take a bit longer for toddlers but as long as you remain consistent with your approach, you will see results! My 5-24 Month Old and 2-4 Year Old Sleep Guides will teach you step by step on how to improve your child's sleep. These guides also have customisable sleep plan for you to find an approach that sits well with you.
Is there anything I need to think about before sleep training?
If you're thinking about sleep training your little one, it is important to think about the following:
- Rule out red flags. Are there any red flags that you have noticed with your child when it comes to feeding, intolerances, allergies and any other health related issues? It is important to rule out any of these issues or get to the bottom of them before sleep training. This is because these can cause sleep disruptions, which will make sleep training a lot harder.
- See your child's paediatrician if you have any concerns about sleep training
- Is your little one healthy and gaining weight?
- Is your child going through sickness? If so, then wait until your little one is 100% healthy before sleep training
- Are you going on a holiday soon? If so, then ensure you have at least 14 days of consistency at home before going away or 14 days after you're back from holidays.
How long will sleep training take?
This all depends on your individual bub and what sleep training method you choose to use. Some little ones start sleeping through the night after a few days of sleep training, whilst others may take a few weeks. If you'd like a tailored sleep plan specifically for your child and your family life-style then my 1:1 support options can help! I will provide you with a comprehensive analysis of your child’s current day and night routine over 3 days and give you a plan to implement to reach your sleep goals.
If you just need the tools to guide you on how to improve your little one's sleep, then my Sleep Guides are what you need! I can guarantee that your child's sleep will be amazing by this time next month!
If you're still unsure which way to go, then book a Free 15 minute Discovery Call here to discuss your current situation and which support would be best for you & your little one.
References
[1] Gradisar, M., Jackson, K., Spurrier, N. J., Gibson, J., Whitham, J., Williams, A. S., ... & Kennaway, D. J. (2016). Behavioral interventions for infant sleep problems: A randomized controlled trial. Pediatrics, 137(6), e20151486. DOI: 10.1542/peds.2015-1486.
[2] Hiscock, H., Bayer, J. K., Hampton, A., Ukoumunne, O. C., & Wake, M. (2013). Long-term mother and child mental health effects of a population-based infant sleep intervention: Cluster-randomized, controlled trial. Journal of Pediatrics, 163(1), 156-161.e1. DOI: 10.1542/peds.2007-3783
[3] Price, A. M. H., Wake, M., Ukoumunne, O. C., & Hiscock, H. (2012). Outcomes at 6 years of age for children with infant sleep problems: Longitudinal community-based study. Pediatrics, 130(4), e641-e648. DOI: 10.1016/j.sleep.2012.04.014
[4] Bernier, A., Carlson, S. M., Bordeleau, S., & Carrier, J. (2010). Relations between physiological and cognitive regulatory systems: Infant sleep regulation and subsequent executive functioning. Developmental Science, 13(4), 644-655. DOI: 10.1111/j.1467-8624.2010.01507.x